The Matter of Influence and Leadership
As a result of some fairly pertinent coaching on leadership I had from my beloved Upline recently, I have pondered on the matter of Influence. Is it ok to influence someone? Or is that a social transgression? For those like me who have struggled with this idea I wanted to share my thoughts and the results of my investigation.
Coercion and Manipulation
I think I have had a blockage at the thought of influencing someone. But clearly my understanding of the word has been tainted by its association with the ideas of Coercion and Manipulation. Particularly in the case of a BAD INFLUENCE.
When you allow your self to align with negative behaviours or mindset you are suffering from a bad influence. You actually choose to take these opinions and attitudes on board. Some people are very influential. But with influence, good or bad, you still have a choice.
Coercion and manipulation both rely on deceit, unfairness, pressure and downright selfish behaviour. The recipient is convinced they have no choice but to comply, or there are unaware they have a choice as they are being deceived.
These result in only one winner, and that’s the rub.
Good Influence
When two informed parties results in two winners there is GOOD INFLUENCE. In this case there is never a negative outcome for the “influencee”. Influence only ever improves, coercion and manipulation STEAL from people.
Influence is impressing an idea on another person that has the capacity to move that person from one place to a better place. That person still retains their choice to buy in or not. People who are frightened, damaged, or have a negative mindset might not see what influence for what it truly is. Until today neither did I.
People are looking all the time to be influenced. Listening to music to calm yourself, watching an inspiring movie, or going to an event to feel exhilarated. We openly look for these opportunities and allow them to heavily influence us. These add value and answer a need within us.
Leadership and Sharing
This is the same for your message. Some people might not be ready for the idea you have to share. That doesn’t mean your idea is not capable of adding value to other people. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share it.
All it means is they aren’t ready. They “don’t feel like having a coffee right now, as the wait-person passes by… “. If you have something beneficial to give you should be offering it up. Adding value to those you influence is possible when you hone your skills, gifts and talents. This is the crux of leadership no matter the scale. Whether you are leading a large corporation, a team at work, a family or just yourself the principle is the same. Moving people from where they are to a better place is what you are here for.
